I’ll be writing about this more in the future… but for now I had to get something out there.
From today forward any streams will be pre-planned in advance and announced on social media. I can no longer be a full time streamer on Twitch as my schedule will be varied due to complications.
My back and body are in a slow decline. It won’t be long before I am back to spending very little time on my feet and most of it sitting or lying down. It was a good couple of years but I have finally hit, the literal, breaking point of my body. My ability to push through pain and be mentally resilient has finally met my physical limitations. My body has finally said – enough.
As much as I love Twitch and streaming I am in a place where I am fighting for own quality of life. I am going to have to reduce the amount of time I spend streaming. While this sucks for community building on Twitch, I hope it helps me focus on other projects and dreams that I have. The Viking Nation on Twitch will always be the backbone of why I even dared to keep talking to folks about #HealthyGamer. They were the ones who have found their own life changes and gone on to do amazing things. Fathers and mothers who have dared to get lives in order and become a part of their children’s lives. Men and women who have overcome mental anxiety issues and felt good enough to go to a convention or meet that person in real life. People who have lost not only body fat, but shed unwanted body issues as they made life changes – 1 small step forward at a time. People who have found alternative ways to cope and deal with depression and had the fortitude to share those stories with us all. All I had to do was be here. Well guys and girls no matter what I am always here. Until I’m dead. Life GG at that point I guess.
On Twitch I’ve seen the sellouts, the pure entertainers, and those who do it because they love a certain game/genre. I used to actually care about the integrity of streaming and the service but the more it turned into Little Hollywood the less I wanted to be a huge part of it. There are some amazing people who stream. They are the ones you see me conversing with, spending time with, and sending encouragement/love to via social media. I’ve also know the ones who smile for the camera but only focus on the end game hustle. The viewership and subscribers are nothing but a number and an ends to a means. I love so many of the people I’ve met on Twitch and right now I am a ball of emotions. Feeling like I am letting people down. How do I balance that?
My plan is to start doing much more content on this website and focusing on spreading the concept of HealthyGamer. The time I used to spend sitting on Twitch trying to reach out to people is now going to be focused on making this website and it’s content a billion times better. I can do that in bed, on the couch, and at the chair on the good days. I want to start reaching out to more Veterans through my work with Operation Supply Drop and I plan on starting the ugly conversations that people don’t want to hear. Mostly about suicide prevention, PTSD, and how gaming is a huge part of veterans lives.
I love you people. If it wasn’t for Twitch I wouldn’t have ever believed there was good out there in the world. Working with OSD and being able to see the impact it is having on veterans in and outside of gaming is amazing to me. I want to do more with what little I can. So I have to make some changes. Not because I want to, but because I have to.
“There will be days when you’ll be forced to make decisions that affect the lives of everyone you love, choices that will change you forever.
You reach an age when you realize that being a man isn’t about respect or strength; it’s about being aware of all the things you touch.
Children face inward, wallow in their own selfish needs.
Men face out, take action on the needs of others” – Jax Teller SoA Season 5